I’m at the edge of the Apocalypse

We woke up yesterday morning to a bright red sun hanging in an orange sky. Everything was tinted sepia, like in those vintage photos.

I thought for a sec that we’d dropped into Mad Max’s post-apocalyptic world.

Of course, what we were experiencing was heavy smoke and ash blowing through our area from the horrific Southern California fires some 100 miles south of us.

Two months ago, Deb and I were worried about friends and family struggling through firestorms 300 miles to the north in Sonoma and Napa counties. Now, we’re fretting about family and friends to the south.

In this effin state, if the politicians don’t kill you, it’s the quakes or fires.

As a lifelong Californian, I remember it always being that way.

Carrying a bug-out bag in the trunk of your SUV for emergencies ain’t all that uncommon in these parts.

Gotta be prepared, after all.

That’s never a bad idea.

Getting prepared for economic hard times is a great idea, too.

You never know when the boss might call you into the office for some final thoughts.

With that in mind, you might wanna download this “survival report” of mine…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Keep your head up!

OK, OK, it’s been awhile

I’ve been, well, incommunicado — at least as far as my blog is concerned.

On the other hand, did I miss YOU earlier this week at the shriek-at-the-sky anti-Trump event?

Wasn’t that something?

On the first anniversary of Trump’s ascension to the Iron Throne, the nation’s crybabies were encouraged to gather in great numbers across the country and simultaneously shout incoherently at the sky.

Boy, I’ll bet THAT showed Trump a thing or two.

(Actually, it turned out that the event was a poorly-attended bust.)

Anyway, this past year of people bitching about last November’s presidential election has been a pretty good example of ineffective, toothless, time-wasting “protest.”

Sure, the guy in the White House is an egomaniacal dick. But c’mon, admit it. You know deep down in your gut that ANYBODY who thinks they’re smart enough to rule over us has gotta be an egomaniacal dick, right? I don’t care if it’s Donald Trump or Barack Obama or George W. Bush.

Or even Chester A. Arthur. (Who nobody remembers.)

Don’t get me wrong, protest is good. Hell, I’m already gearing up to protest the NEXT guy in the Oval Office.

But the trick is to know which protests are worth pursuing and which are just a waste of your time and effort.

Let’s face it. All that effort screaming at an unresponsive sky would be better spent building a great lifestyle for yourself, onethat’s free of bosses telling you what to do and that brings you a nice, tidy stream of moola.

You can find a blueprint for that plan right here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

I hate asshats who slurp spaghetti

The hosts of my favorite movie review podcast discussed theater etiquette last week. More specifically, they talked about what foods are inappropriate to eat during a show.

Seems a listener’s girlfriend had smuggled a plastic baggie filled with spaghetti and meatballs into a theater.

Was she wrong?

That seems like a no-brainer to me.

Of COURSE, she was wrong!

First, think of the poor kid who has to figger out how to scrub marinara off the theater floor between shows.

Second, who the hell wants to hear the sound of an asshat slurping spaghetti while they’re trying to enjoy “Atomic Blonde”?

Third, there are certain smells you expect in a movie theater — like, say, popcorn. The smell of spaghetti and meatballs ain’t one of them.

There are right ways and wrong ways of doing just about anything. Even eating in a movie theater.

And, naturally, there are right and wrong ways of launching your own freelance business.

I happened to do a lot of the right things right out of the gate when I left my corporate job for the world of self-employment.

But I also did a lot of the wrong things.

Stupid things.

Well, I’ve taken all the RIGHT things and stuffed ’em into a quick-to-read, down-and-dirty hotsheet.

Wanna avoid a lotta missteps in your transition from the 9-to-5 treadmill to the life of a solopreneur?

Download the hotsheet right here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Where does real madness begin?

For the past couple of weeks, everybody ‘cept me stood in long lines to see the latest Guardians of the Galaxy movie. I instead stood in NO line to see The Lost City of Z.

The movie relates the fascinating true story of Lieutenant Colonel Percy Fawcett, a British explorer who disappeared in the jungles of Brazil in 1925, after having made seven expeditions over two decades to find an ancient lost city he believed to exist.

It’s a terrific tale of commitment and determination.

Of course, some would say it’s a story of one man’s descent into madness. But hell, who’s to say where determination ends and madness begins?

See the movie. Better yet, read David Grann’s book, then see the movie.

Fawcett’s story illustrates the importance of pushing through, fighting the odds, and mastering the ropes as you progress.

Just like in business.

There are tried-and-true methods that will help move your consulting or copywriting or marketing business to success.

As determined and committed as Fawcett was, he did get lost in the jungle eventually. But you don’t have to get lost in building your business.

I cranked out a quick- and easy-to-read guide to assist you in navigating the jungles you might come up against in a solo business.

Take a look and download it right here…

http://www.wallyconger.com/splitsecondsolopreneur/

My eyeball got squished real bad

I’ve been a certain kind of crazy for the past couple of weeks, preparing for my third eye surgery in two years.

This surgery is pretty standard stuff — cataract surgery on my right eye. But since I wear old-fashioned, hard contact lenses, I’ve gone 14 days without a contact lens at all in my right eye to help the doc get proper measurements for the new corrective lens implant.

And I’m telling you, it’s been a real pain in the patootie.

My left eye sees long, long distances, but my uncorrected right eye sees only fuzziness. So everything’s been a bit harder, a bit more inconvenient, a bit more uncomfortable, a bit more headachy.

Driving’s a no-no, of course; Deb’s my chauffeur. Watching TV is difficult. Reading’s a chore. Writing on the computer is damn near impossible; I have to press my face to the screen, my eyeball practically squished against the glass, to read with any reliability.

Anyway, I’m able to use the contact lens again starting today, so I’ll finally function semi-normally, thank gawd.

Surgery is just 12 days away.

Hallelujah!

There are so many hoops to jump through during pre-op.

But then, there are hoops that have to be addressed when you do just about anything. Like launching a freelance business, for instance.

If you’re in the middle of starting a business as a copywriter, consultant, marketing “guru,” whatever, I can help. In fact, I hammered out a simple report to help you jump through those hoops, or maybe avoid them altogether.

You can download it right here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Mindless blather at Zorro’s Cantina

We spend every Saturday morning on the patio at Zorro’s Cantina, just a block or so up from the beach.

The Zorro’s breakfast menu is terrific. (There’s an off-menu omelet named after me, but that’s another story.)

Unfortunately, our usual quiet meal this past weekend was disturbed by a fellow loudly and annoyingly monologuing to a woman he was breakfasting with.

She didn’t say a single word, but he rambled on and on about subject after subject without pause.

When he started blowing shit about humbleness, I hadda roll my eyes.

Anyway, his food finally arrived, and I thought, great, maybe he’ll shut the eff up for a couple of minutes.

Nope. He was a master of blathering mindlessly while at the same time shoveling Eggs Benedict into his piehole.

One of this idjit’s remarks was priceless…

“But no matter what, she doesn’t hear a word I say.”

Well, no kidding, Sherlock.

Take a breath occasionally. Allow the other person to speak. And for crying out loud, LISTEN!

Give the other person a chance to say something and they’re much more likely to hear what you have to say.

That’s called “conversation.”

Don’t monologue.

Have a conversation.

You’ll develop better relationships, both in your personal life and in business.

Just sayin’.

Oh, and my pithy report offers a few dozen more tips that’ll help you build better relationships in business. (And it won’t hurt your personal relationships, either.) You can download it here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

The Mantra of the Ignorant and Doomed

Over a cup of coffee this morning, I read a short story by Joe Lansdale, one of my favorite authors and a master of East Texas Noir.

In the course of the yarn, one of Lansdale’s characters, a good ol’ boy named Hap, reveals what he calls The Mantra of the Ignorant and Doomed.

Here it is…

“I don’t know.”

You hear that mantra a lot from punk kids if you ask why they waste precious weekends drunk and spray painting shit on highway signs.

You hear it from young women when you ask why they keep dating the same dickweeds again and again, despite the abuse.

Worse yet, you hear “I don’t know” from a lot of folks when you ask why they suffer in jobs they hate when it’s really unnecessary.

There’s an escape hatch from lousy jobs, you know.

I’ve cranked out a short, pithy report about that escape hatch and how to best take advantage of it.

Quit reciting the Mantra of the Ignorant and Doomed and download the report from here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Shaken, not stirred

My wife’s drink of choice has long been the Vesper martini — three measures of gin, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet liqueur (replacing the vermouth), shaken well until ice-cold, then served with a thin slice of lemon peel.

Me, I’m a simple scotch on the rocks guy, but Deb’s high-velocity beverage has always impressed me as very James Bond-like.

So last week, I was reading Ian Fleming’s very first 007 novel “Casino Royale” (1953) and came across this startling passage…

” ‘A dry martini,’ [Bond] said. ‘One. In a deep champagne goblet.’

” ‘Oui, monsieur.’

” ‘Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?’

“ ‘Certainly, monsieur.’ The barman seemed pleased with the idea.

” ‘Gosh, that’s certainly a drink,’ said Leiter.

“Bond laughed. ‘When I’m…er…concentrating,’ he explained, ‘I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well-made. I hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad. This drink’s my own invention. I’m going to patent it when I can think of a good name.’ “

Later in the novel, 007 names it the Vesper, after the first Bond girl, Vesper Lynd.

My wife’s favorite drink isn’t just Bond-like, it was invented by the great (fictional, I know) man himself!

I love making discoveries like that.

When it comes to launching your own business, though, the discovery process can be long and hard and frustrating.

Which makes the special report I recently hammered out for you particularly important.

In just 20 minutes, you can breeze through this report and discover 78 simple “hacks” to help you hit the ground running if you’re wanting to snap your chains of wage slavery.

You can download it here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

Hell and high water

It was a helluva weekend.

Torrential rains and high-velocity winds, with 60 mph gusts, bitchslapped us real good here on the California central coast.

Creeks that are normally dry ran at full capacity, sweeping mud and trash to the beach.

A nearby reservoir that’s been almost bone-dry for seven years rose 25 feet in three days.

On a more personal note, a big honkin’ branch from a neighbor’s cypress tree blew loose and pulverized a section of the concrete block wall in our backyard. Some patio furniture was crushed beyond recognition, but fortunately, Deb’s recently-planted tulips survived.

A neighbor wasn’t so lucky. A eucalyptus tree crashed clear through his roof.

At one point on Saturday, we lost electricity for 12 hours. Friends were without power for upwards of 55 hours.

Yeah, even though it’s been nice to finally see rain this winter after so many years of drought, I’m pretty well done with it.

Enough’s enough.

But I know that weather is something I can’t control.

It’s always gonna do its own thing, whether I’m shaking my fist at stormclouds or not.

On the other hand, there are things we CAN control.

Like properly steering our businesses.

My report on the launching and care and feeding of a small business is still available for download. You’ll find it here…

Split-Second Solopreneur

How sunshine can eff you up

There are a lotta goofy-as-fugk cults out there these days, from Safe Spacism, to Trumpism, to Discordianism.

Any one of those might screw with your head. They probably won’t kill you, though.

But it looks like something called Breatharianism can.

People in Switzerland, Germany, Britain, and Australia have reportedly dropped dead from starvation because they followed its “spiritual” teachings, which involved giving up food and water and trying to exist on nothing but sunlight.

It seems Breatharians think the energy saved on digesting food and drink can be turned into physical, emotional, and spiritual energy.

Yeah, riiiiiight.

The “fasts” seem to last about 21 days before the most diligent practitioners drop dead.

The practice is detailed in a documentary film called “In the Beginning, There Was Light.” It features an Indian guru who claims to not have eaten anything in 70 years.

Sounds like bunk to me.

Just like most of the crap you hear from a lot of so-called business gurus.

They say you can launch your own business with no investment at all.

They say you can “cut and paste” your way to success.

They say you can sit on the beaches of the world and lift nary a finger to make money roll in.

That stuff won’t kill you, but it’ll waste your time and money if you pursue it.

Want the real lowdown on starting a freelance business? Download the whole enchilada right here…

Split-Second Solopreneur